Billy Jack is still fightin’ the “man.” Not that anyone asked him to. 

What’s that? You never heard  of Billy Jack? 

Listen, children to a story that was written long ago… 

Thirty-five years ago actor Tom Laughlin and his unadorned wife Delores became minor phenoms when their low-budget, cliché clogged, stereotype teeming, screamingly poor acted, hideously written piece a crap of a movie made loads of money and too much press by being identified as a metaphor for the little guy standing tall against the establishment.  

The name of the movie was The Legend of Billy Jack.  Except one thing. Billy Jack aka Tom Laughlin who’s a white guy playing a "half-breed" Indian, ain’t no legend. Beyond his and his unadorned wife’s dreams, that is. 

I hear you asking…come on. The Legend of Billy Jack  couldn’t have been THAT bad; it was a huge hit after all, and we love nostalgia and what’s wrong with fightin’ the "man" anyway? 

Like I said, Billy Jack aka Tom Laughlin—he’s a white guy (not that there’s anything wrong with that. I’m whiter than sour cream myself.) He’s a white guy playing a “half breed.”  

Here we go again… 

Billy Jack aka Tom Laughlin is a white guy playing a “half breed” who fights white racism all the while exhibiting the worst of wannabe condescension—that Native identity is something you assume the minute you don a bone choker and moccasins. Like when Billy aka Tom says, “Being an Indian isn’t a matter of blood, it’s a way of life.”  

You with me now? 

The Legend of Billy Jack  was made in 1971 and only those of us old or stupid enough to have subjected themselves to actually watching it have to exorcise the memory. That, and the memory of possibly the absolute most Goddawful ever title song, which if you think about it, was a match made in heaven. One Tin Soldier  sung by the aptly named band (or is it a person?) Coven. Yes. Coven. If you think I’m exaggerating when I tell you this song is every bit as wretched as the movie it appears in, I beg you—pay a buck and go to iTunes and listen.  

Go ahead and hate your neighbor, go ahead and cheat a friend.  Do it the name of heaven,  you can justify it in the end…

So why o why am I inflicting this on you now, decades after The Legend of Billy Jack and its spawn, The Trial of Billy Jack and a few other stinkers have mercifully been in prolonged remission? 

The Legend, the Wannabe. He’s back. 

You would think by now Billy Jack aka Tom Laughlin would have slowed down; he’s 75 years old and it's probably much harder to kick the “man’s” ass and assume a menacing red-man stare, especially when you ain’t an Indian. But no worries, he hasn’t aged a bit—in fact, every image on his website of him and his unadorned wife date back to the mid-70's. 

He’s ageless!  He's eternal! And…you ready for this? He's gonna play a "half-breed" and save us from the "man" one more time! 

This time, however, Billy aka Tom is battling even bigger enemies. No honky d’jours—our guy is taking on the US government, spirituality, good versus evil…oh my!

He has made a NEW BILLY JACK MOVIE (I had to use all caps, the news is that important) called, what else?…Billy Jack’s Moral Revolution.  It's gonna be a biggie, describing his latest as “Billy Jack is Under Siege from Three Extremist Groups that Control the President and the Government.”  

Get your ticket for Cannes and Sundance early.

Still Billy Jack's Moral Revolution  won't be the same. Something, something will be missing…Coven. Yes. Coven.

There won’t be any trumpets blowing,  come the judgement day,  on the bloody morning after,  one tin (Indian) rides away…  

Now that  would be worth seeing.

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Haven’t had your fix of Billy Jack aka Tom Laughlin and his unadorned wife, Delores?  Check out their website: http://www.billyjack.com/